Ive never seen such a large group of people that somehow think that they "own" me. Im so tired of slimey, dirty, unscrewpulous people in my life. I never associated with any of these people on a personal level so I am unsure of how they have attatched themselves to me. I dont understand why the entire world is trying to have some sort of "issue" with me. They treat me like dirt constantly denying me the right to have a normal existance all the while making boocoo bucks off my business ideas and my writing.
Here I am pregnant and trying to find work and I have a bunch of people that have never even attempted to step out of their comfort zone trying to control and make fun of my existence. Rediculous. Im tired of stupid lazy ass people that dont know the first thing about anything trying to tell me something about life.
Kelly Rippa copped some sort of attitude the minute that I set foot inside the temp agency that was within walking distance, saying "YA" to me for nothing. My life is not a game, and as usual I am not playing. Ive had it with caddy remarks from a population that has no knowledge of what its like to be me, especially kelly Rippa. Let me ask you Kelly if you know what its like to never have a safe place to go, or to have your pregnancy always ignored and lied about, to have every business idea you've ever had capitolized on and all funds stolen from you and to be hated by everyone because some spoiled little bitch like you found some sort of problem with a pregnant homeless girl? Your selfishness amazes me. I am mortified that someone like you that has been allowed to be at your best and have success without always being pushed down by someone that has more resources than you and now has a beautiful family would cop some sort of "I have you all figured out" attitude toward me. You dont even know me and people like you keep accusing me of acting the minute I have a smile on my face or am able to laugh and enjoy a smidgeon of my own existance. You treat me worse than a freaken dog.
I never allowed to be myself, Im so tired of this. Kendall doesn't even know the person that I have become anymore. 5 1/2 years on the street, traumatized and homeless changes a person in ways that Kendall wont ever be able to relate to. Theres no way that a pampered princess could possibly judge whether or not I am acting when shes never been out in the rain without an umbrella let alone tossed outside and hated by a mass population for 5 years exposed to the worst forms of mental, physical, and sexual abuse. How on earth would she know what in the world is going on with me. Im pregnant and homeless for god sake, nothing of which she has ever experienced. It seems like its real easy to talk badly about people as you are using them and skipping off to the bank with all their creativity. No offense to her, because I still, after all the unfairness, consider her a sister but she really isn't the expert on this situation. Her hostility toward me, just as with everyone else is completely unfounded and without reason. Not to mentioned that I had a full blown mental breakdown where I litterally lost my ability to cognate words and phrases, not able to process incoming words or sentences because of the trauma brought on by all these peoples games and theatrics, blaming me for things that I have no knowledge of and exposing me to cruelties like head games all day every day. Its happened 3 times in the last month and a half. Its a reoccuring phenomina when exposed to excess truama. It starts with studdering and then suddenly I cant process incoming information like phrases. I hear them but its like the meaning of the words doesn't register and I strain to process the meaning of the simplest of words (the, what, how etc.) Then when I have to reply, I cant find the words that Im looking for. I strain and all I get is equivalent to a gear thats been stuck and wont shift. It also feels like Ive run out of whatever lubricates the thought processes, this gets worse when I dont eat, I am hypoglycemic and need sugar as well as food to think, being autistic.
Im so tired of weird complete strangers looking for reasons to condemn me. My world is not the same as yours, I am autistic and not only are you extremely abusive to treat me the way you do with such disdain for no reason at all but you are vicious with your inability to leave me alone and allow for normal processes throughout the day. That is why I rented a hotel room. I was at my mental limit, I needed a day away from the world. As predicted you didn't have the decency to chalk it up to that, you had to accuse me of yet another atrocity. You have attatched a rediculous meaning to everything around me. I am not allowed to be a part of anything that I need in order to exist happily. And now that I have tryed to get a job you have accused me of wanting 2 again! Why dont you just leave me the hell alone, you are abusive and no I am not interested in being someones freaken girl on the side. I just want to be employed and with normal rights and have the ability to make money off my own business ideas and raise my child without you pushing me around. I am pregnant and happy........Leave me alone, Ive asked you a million times and you continue to treat me like shit. I do not have to pass your tests, I am a person not an animal and your version of truth and life are not mine.
Marc Arnaud, I would appreciate you getting out of my life as I gave you a chance to be a decent person when I was in Arizona and instead you used my presence as an opportunity to threaten me. Yes, I know everyone thinks that you tried so hard to help but they weren't there behind closed doors to hear the threat and the hostility in your voice when you "told" me that I was "going to do or else" were they? Also you, threatened me for using my legs, challenging me in a hostile way to "keep walking" when I had no knowledge of what you were talking about. Then they weren't there also when you gave "permission" to have the ability to urinate, were they. In your words staying out on your porch long enough had "earned" my ability to urinate. If thats not completely abusive red flag behavior I dont know what is. So you and all your friends can continue to lie to the world all the while intentionally inflicting harm to me all you want but that doesn't mean that I have to ever associate with you again on purpose or if I can help it. Kindly remove yourself from my life.
Its funny how I am attacked all the time but no one knows about the abuse that has been going on out of your view. You just think I am some sort of monster person and you have it all wrong you dont even know that you have been lied to. I dont know why it hasn't occured to you to ask my side of the story.
This brings me to Katie Holmes whom is mad at me for reasons that are also unclear to me. I am unsure of how my life is in anyway related to hers but for some reason she is mad at me also. I am autistic and have an aversion to the color forest green for my own reasons. She has now taken this personally and maybe I would understand if someone explained it to me.
People keep treating me like I am some sort of bad person and I have nothing but good intentions. The fact that I am even able to smile after all that has happened to me is a miracle. You should be proud of my resilience to an impossible situation, not hissing at me for not even knowing what your talking about.I ask god and the universe to forgive you everyday lately as most of you dont even know that your hatred is misdirected, and as for the ones that are intentionally harming my life, I still ask that you be forgiven becuase when I exit this planet I want to be positive that I did my best to be a good person, my learning experiences here fulfilled as I am not in a hurry to repeat this life in the next. I am expecting a beautiful life next time around and I am evolved enough to know that your ignorance doesn't equal my future, in this life or the next. I have never had bad intentions, that is something you made up.
I would appreciate all the weird overzealous stalkers to exit my life. I am not a part of your group and apparently you have never heard of false imprisonment, which basically is what you are doing by controlling my environment. I grew up with very normal people, those are my companions on this earth, not you. They have way to much going on than to stalk me everywhere I go and deliver ultimatums except of course the ones that of course have stolen from me.
Also could the "wedding party" quit playing games with my life, you would think that given the wedding and everything that you would have better things to do with your time than to try and make my life more difficult than it already is. I really dont want the groom, you can stop trying to test me now as it is totally rediculous that you cant accept the fact that I am happy being pregnant even though I am on my own.
Also could you stop offering to get me "customers" as I am not some sort of prostitute nor will I ever be not to mention it is a huge insult. I have no desire to be "fancy". Find someone else. You make me ill.
The witch, did not win just because you need yet another way to try and make me look bad. Even though I love witches, I dont agree with you using a witch against me just because I try to find some faith in something.
Your desparate attempts at destroying my life and reputation are not only pathetic but are really close to receiving federal prison priviliges.
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