Im totally traumatized and they are still playing. No one will leave this girl alone to have a normal life. These nice people have taken this girl in tonight but the man is pushing this girl to get his way. I dont want to deal with games anymore. No one seems to get it. He only wanted "it" and thats why he kept pushing this girl to talk when I was already to traumatized to talk. As soon as I told him that I had Aspergers syndrome he got what he wanted. I finally got in a place where I could hear quiet and to tell the truth, I was staring at the same sentence on the computer screen for a long while with out realizing it. That means that I am officially traumatized by all the noise from being outside. If Im staring at the computer screen that means that I have nothing left. That is the autistic coma that I go into when I cant handle anymore. They are calling this girl jealous for no other reason than this man wants his way and everyone needs to make this girl look like I am jealous to "justify" what is happening to this girl. How could I be jealous over my own work.
I got set up, again. Now "the person portraying mm" is trying to say that I just want some sort of something that I dont want. I am so tired of all this mess. I just want to live a normal life where I get paid for the things that I create. That isn't to much to ask. I dont care what anyone says I have done nothing wrong and dont deserve what has happened to this girl.
I know when someone is talking to this girl because they are interested in general conversation and when they are appearing to be curious to "win" their portion of the game. This man was trying to get his way, he didn't care about what he was asking this girl at all. I am so tired of all these sorts of people. They are all the same. Just as slimey as the ones trying to take my existance away from this girl. They will go to any lengths to achieve their "goal" I stopped talking because I was aware of the true motives.
I hope my father is alright and the same goes with my mother. Even though they dont get along I love them both. It takes this girl so long to process information that I am late on everything and their was something about whether or not I put something together.
Im so tired of people acting like they are better than this girl when they have way less experience. They haven't even been thrown outside to observe the patterns of traffic flow. They all think that they are superior, its beyond old. I hate this existence. This sounds like "gees" work. All this trying to make this girl look bad. I cant handle anymore. I need a normal day. None of this is fair. If it were I would be in my 2nd year as secret service and have a life. Oh well, who cares if I fall off the planet. Aside from my child growing inside of this girl, there is nothing else. I want nothing more than to get my abusive uncle out of my life. I am not a fake I am just totally tired. There is a difference. I just cant handle anymore.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Trying to enjoy the day despite my current challenges
Today was decent. Had some sushi that I didn't chew (someone said that I could save the baby if I didn't chew and not sure if I believe that mumbo jumbo but I feel slightly supersticious lately)
Anyway after the sushi, found this great spot along the creek that had something close to a cabana decor. Two chairs, an umbrella, and a table. I pulled out my magazine and tried to become inspired. I attempted to come up with a couple of business ideas with no luck, well one but it wasn't very good. I thought I would try to sun tan while I was at it. I owe my ability to try and make the best out of nothing to Jake. He tought me how to enjoy a day with no anything (there were many times we were flat broke, no Im not trying to get back with him)
Then this groovy cat came over and introduced itself and we got along fabulously sharing a little extra around the midrift in common.
Then I climbed a fence just to see if I could and was so parched that I climbed up this tangerine tree and got myself 3 small sized tanges. I sqeezed the juice so that I could have some liquid and then was threatened once again with a mental institution for trying to nourish myself. Everyone always thinks that everything I attempt is a game. Its getting really old.
After this I was told that I get nothing out of my hard earned money and that they are giving it all to "B". Again, just because I had to nourish myself and try and have a decent meal. Like I said, I haven't asked that "b" get raped and kidnapped so why are they expecting this girl to starve while Im pregnant? No matter what they really have NO INTENTION OF PAYING THIS GIRL WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY MINE. MONEY THAT I MADE AND CREATED THEY ARE GIVING TO SOME OTHER GIRL. Im tired of dealing with unfair politics.
Why do these men think that I am trying to get with them? Im pregnant and really have no intrest right now.
I dont understand why these people wont just give this girl the benefit of the doubt that I am not trying to hurt someone.
No matter what the "eye" always decides that this crap is just, whats really funny is that some of the people that belong to the "eye" are computer users themselves, so how would it be "just", the cruelty, because I blog on the internet. These same people are doing the same thing that I am. Im tired of facing homelessness because some girl wants her way.
Ps. I had to throw my socks out, they were gross because I had them on for three days......what if that was your life. I bet the homelessness wouldn't be "just" then, right? Its only just because you have no idea what its like or what your talking about. Id like to stay here, the weather is great, but I have a feeling that no one is going to let me and considering that I just lost all my hard earned money for trying to have a decent day in the face of adversity, i really doubt anyone will get over themselves long enough to accept this girl. The people have been nice but I was told last night that they thought I was a hooker. How insulting......I have a mind with a gift for creating ideas and they treat this girl like a prostitute.
I really hope all the decent people have a wonderful evening with their friends, families and kids.
Oh and by the way, whoever told you that I am some sort of pervert that stares at crotches, not true. Id appreciate it if you stop treating this girl like a freak before you have even given this girl a chance. Im really not interested in your crotch, I have bigger problems right now. Just another attempt to keep this girl alienated from my peers.
Anyway after the sushi, found this great spot along the creek that had something close to a cabana decor. Two chairs, an umbrella, and a table. I pulled out my magazine and tried to become inspired. I attempted to come up with a couple of business ideas with no luck, well one but it wasn't very good. I thought I would try to sun tan while I was at it. I owe my ability to try and make the best out of nothing to Jake. He tought me how to enjoy a day with no anything (there were many times we were flat broke, no Im not trying to get back with him)
Then this groovy cat came over and introduced itself and we got along fabulously sharing a little extra around the midrift in common.
Then I climbed a fence just to see if I could and was so parched that I climbed up this tangerine tree and got myself 3 small sized tanges. I sqeezed the juice so that I could have some liquid and then was threatened once again with a mental institution for trying to nourish myself. Everyone always thinks that everything I attempt is a game. Its getting really old.
After this I was told that I get nothing out of my hard earned money and that they are giving it all to "B". Again, just because I had to nourish myself and try and have a decent meal. Like I said, I haven't asked that "b" get raped and kidnapped so why are they expecting this girl to starve while Im pregnant? No matter what they really have NO INTENTION OF PAYING THIS GIRL WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY MINE. MONEY THAT I MADE AND CREATED THEY ARE GIVING TO SOME OTHER GIRL. Im tired of dealing with unfair politics.
Why do these men think that I am trying to get with them? Im pregnant and really have no intrest right now.
I dont understand why these people wont just give this girl the benefit of the doubt that I am not trying to hurt someone.
No matter what the "eye" always decides that this crap is just, whats really funny is that some of the people that belong to the "eye" are computer users themselves, so how would it be "just", the cruelty, because I blog on the internet. These same people are doing the same thing that I am. Im tired of facing homelessness because some girl wants her way.
Ps. I had to throw my socks out, they were gross because I had them on for three days......what if that was your life. I bet the homelessness wouldn't be "just" then, right? Its only just because you have no idea what its like or what your talking about. Id like to stay here, the weather is great, but I have a feeling that no one is going to let me and considering that I just lost all my hard earned money for trying to have a decent day in the face of adversity, i really doubt anyone will get over themselves long enough to accept this girl. The people have been nice but I was told last night that they thought I was a hooker. How insulting......I have a mind with a gift for creating ideas and they treat this girl like a prostitute.
I really hope all the decent people have a wonderful evening with their friends, families and kids.
Oh and by the way, whoever told you that I am some sort of pervert that stares at crotches, not true. Id appreciate it if you stop treating this girl like a freak before you have even given this girl a chance. Im really not interested in your crotch, I have bigger problems right now. Just another attempt to keep this girl alienated from my peers.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
NOTE
Tara...is it your mission in life to take everything that was ever mine and make it a part of your property? So far you have managed to get your paws on my entire life. My father, my mother, my family (biological), my ex-boyfriend Jake, my friends including but not limited to Kendall, my cousins, my lyrics, my writing, my job, my brain, and anyone that I personally held in high esteem.
Its almost like you find out what I like or want and you go after it. Whether it is a person that I admire, or something that I enjoy that you suddenly develope an intrest in. I find it amazing and half way frightning that you have managed to crawl between crevices that you shouldn't have been able to get through. You have really gone out of your way, stalking and harassing this girl. I have grown tired of you thinking that somehow you have a right to everything that was my life. They have a name for people like you, its called "fatal attraction"
Dont think that you are going to keep rights over my life. You are a fake that needs my life in order to feel successful. How creepy is that. How come I dont need your life to feel complete? Maybe because Im not a lunatic. No offense but what are you expecting from this girl when I have beat my own head against the wall trying to figure out what on earth has been happening to my life. How come it has been trickling through my fingers and the answer was you.
I have never in my life attempted to take a portion of someone elses life nor have I ever wanted anything that I couldn't create on my own. You seem to take pleasure in being recognized for things that you didn't even accomplish. You decide to starve yourself and the world thinks your some sort of hero, but you didn't do it to help people you did it to try and collect money that wasn't yours to begin with. I dare you to tell Donald Trump or Bill Gates that you are entitled to the fortune he amassed on his own because you dont eat for a month. Well Tara, I haven't asked that you go through the rapes, the kidnappings or the psychological abuse that I have endured, not to mention, being kept out on the street (there is no media attention there Tara, you wouldn't like it)
I would be embarassed passing off someone elses work off as my own. But you, you have no conscience at all. You are the poorest excuse for a person I have ever met. Why in the world do you have to have my father? YOU HAVE YOUR OWN FAMILY, QUIT TRYING TO TAKE MY LIFE. bY THE WAY DONT THINK THAT YOU WILL HAVE MY FATHER FOOLED FOR VERY LONG. I KNOW DAMN WELL THAT YOUR UNCLE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DESTRUCTION OF HIS HOME ON PRESTON TRAIL. HOW DO I KNOW? BECAUSE YOU UNCLE ADMITTED HIS OWN GUILT THE DAY I WENT TO MY FATHERS HOUSE AND FOUND IT IN SHAMBLES. YOUr UNCLE SAID AND I QUOTE "NOW WE ARE EVEN" WHEN I TOLD HIM THAT MY FATHERS HOUSE WAS TRASHED AND WAS ON THE VERGE OF TEARS. YOU MIGHT HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE FOOLED ABOUT YOUR INTENTIONS BUT YOU DONT FOOL THIS GIRL FOR ANY LENGTH OF TIME. THE TRUTH WILL COME OUT AND WHEN IT DOES PEOPLE WILL TURN THEIR BACKS ON YOU THE SAME WAY THEY HAVE TURNED THEIR BACKS ON THIS GIRL FOR ALL THE MANUFACTURED LIES THAT YOU AND YOUR CLICK FED THEM. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS WHEN THEY WERE TURNING THEIR BACKS ON THIS GIRL, I LITERALLY HADN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG. YOU AND APRIL, AND ANOTHER GIRL THAT I WONT MENTION RIGHT NOW WERE BEHIND ALL OF THE SUFFERING THAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH. AS A MATTER OF FACT MY LIFE HAS BEEN A TOTAL NIGHTMARE EVER SINCE I MET YOU AND YOUR UNCLE. FOR TWO AND A HALF YEARS YOU HAVE STALKED AND CONQUORED EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE ATTEMPTED TO HAVE AS A POSSIBLE LIFESTYLE.
DONT WORRY I AM NOT BITTER. I REALLY BELIEVE THE TRUTH OF WHAT YOU GIRLS HAVE DONE TO GET YOUR WAY, WILL COME OUT. i AM REALLY SORRY BUT I AM NOT YOUR JESUS AND YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO GET A GRIP ON REALITY. I just went through the worst 5 years of my life and I owe it to people like you. You even have the Dali Lama thinking that you wrote my poem about freeing people from their chains and suffering. I heard that he even offered to give you a personal study based on the poem. Does he know you looked at him straight faced and lied your hiney off? how much gall does that take? I am amazed how quickly you work. Now you seem to have Obama fooled also. You and April are good at fooling everyone on the "inside".
Dont worry I can still forgive both of you, you both thought that the power you had would be enough to shield you from your own actions. Dont think that if anything happens to my father that I wont make you sorry you ever met this girl. Because right now, because I met you, my father is at risk and has now walked right into a trap.
I have repeatedly tried to give you a chance to do the right thing and everytime I extend you grace you repay this girl with another part of my life taken away. Same goes with April, I have repeatedly extended her the opportunity to do the right thing and she does exactly what you do. As soon as your plush lifestyles are put in jeopardy by truth its funny all the things that "accidentally" happen to this girl.
I forgive you, but fess up.
I had 1 decent meal in the last week and I am pregnant. You are living off my hard earned money. Whats it like living in a house that I bought you?
Its almost like you find out what I like or want and you go after it. Whether it is a person that I admire, or something that I enjoy that you suddenly develope an intrest in. I find it amazing and half way frightning that you have managed to crawl between crevices that you shouldn't have been able to get through. You have really gone out of your way, stalking and harassing this girl. I have grown tired of you thinking that somehow you have a right to everything that was my life. They have a name for people like you, its called "fatal attraction"
Dont think that you are going to keep rights over my life. You are a fake that needs my life in order to feel successful. How creepy is that. How come I dont need your life to feel complete? Maybe because Im not a lunatic. No offense but what are you expecting from this girl when I have beat my own head against the wall trying to figure out what on earth has been happening to my life. How come it has been trickling through my fingers and the answer was you.
I have never in my life attempted to take a portion of someone elses life nor have I ever wanted anything that I couldn't create on my own. You seem to take pleasure in being recognized for things that you didn't even accomplish. You decide to starve yourself and the world thinks your some sort of hero, but you didn't do it to help people you did it to try and collect money that wasn't yours to begin with. I dare you to tell Donald Trump or Bill Gates that you are entitled to the fortune he amassed on his own because you dont eat for a month. Well Tara, I haven't asked that you go through the rapes, the kidnappings or the psychological abuse that I have endured, not to mention, being kept out on the street (there is no media attention there Tara, you wouldn't like it)
I would be embarassed passing off someone elses work off as my own. But you, you have no conscience at all. You are the poorest excuse for a person I have ever met. Why in the world do you have to have my father? YOU HAVE YOUR OWN FAMILY, QUIT TRYING TO TAKE MY LIFE. bY THE WAY DONT THINK THAT YOU WILL HAVE MY FATHER FOOLED FOR VERY LONG. I KNOW DAMN WELL THAT YOUR UNCLE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DESTRUCTION OF HIS HOME ON PRESTON TRAIL. HOW DO I KNOW? BECAUSE YOU UNCLE ADMITTED HIS OWN GUILT THE DAY I WENT TO MY FATHERS HOUSE AND FOUND IT IN SHAMBLES. YOUr UNCLE SAID AND I QUOTE "NOW WE ARE EVEN" WHEN I TOLD HIM THAT MY FATHERS HOUSE WAS TRASHED AND WAS ON THE VERGE OF TEARS. YOU MIGHT HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE FOOLED ABOUT YOUR INTENTIONS BUT YOU DONT FOOL THIS GIRL FOR ANY LENGTH OF TIME. THE TRUTH WILL COME OUT AND WHEN IT DOES PEOPLE WILL TURN THEIR BACKS ON YOU THE SAME WAY THEY HAVE TURNED THEIR BACKS ON THIS GIRL FOR ALL THE MANUFACTURED LIES THAT YOU AND YOUR CLICK FED THEM. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS WHEN THEY WERE TURNING THEIR BACKS ON THIS GIRL, I LITERALLY HADN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG. YOU AND APRIL, AND ANOTHER GIRL THAT I WONT MENTION RIGHT NOW WERE BEHIND ALL OF THE SUFFERING THAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH. AS A MATTER OF FACT MY LIFE HAS BEEN A TOTAL NIGHTMARE EVER SINCE I MET YOU AND YOUR UNCLE. FOR TWO AND A HALF YEARS YOU HAVE STALKED AND CONQUORED EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE ATTEMPTED TO HAVE AS A POSSIBLE LIFESTYLE.
DONT WORRY I AM NOT BITTER. I REALLY BELIEVE THE TRUTH OF WHAT YOU GIRLS HAVE DONE TO GET YOUR WAY, WILL COME OUT. i AM REALLY SORRY BUT I AM NOT YOUR JESUS AND YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO GET A GRIP ON REALITY. I just went through the worst 5 years of my life and I owe it to people like you. You even have the Dali Lama thinking that you wrote my poem about freeing people from their chains and suffering. I heard that he even offered to give you a personal study based on the poem. Does he know you looked at him straight faced and lied your hiney off? how much gall does that take? I am amazed how quickly you work. Now you seem to have Obama fooled also. You and April are good at fooling everyone on the "inside".
Dont worry I can still forgive both of you, you both thought that the power you had would be enough to shield you from your own actions. Dont think that if anything happens to my father that I wont make you sorry you ever met this girl. Because right now, because I met you, my father is at risk and has now walked right into a trap.
I have repeatedly tried to give you a chance to do the right thing and everytime I extend you grace you repay this girl with another part of my life taken away. Same goes with April, I have repeatedly extended her the opportunity to do the right thing and she does exactly what you do. As soon as your plush lifestyles are put in jeopardy by truth its funny all the things that "accidentally" happen to this girl.
I forgive you, but fess up.
I had 1 decent meal in the last week and I am pregnant. You are living off my hard earned money. Whats it like living in a house that I bought you?
I cant get these crazy people out of my life
These people that say "okay" all the time are still making my life miserable. They think it is some sort of bad thing to have anything whatsoever to do with entertainment. If you happen to notice a celebrity relative, you are called "okay" as if it is some sort of bad taboo thing to converse with a celebrity. They make the entertainment industry look like it is some sort of bad thing, like they themselves dont go to the movies or watch TV. It is really tiresome to deal with this group of people as my mother and I and all my friends growing up were glued to magazines, Tv and the Sliver Screen. It is part of who I am to notice that a certain person relative from 90210 (A show I was glued to every episode) suddenly surfaces in my area. I refuse to feel guilty or to be a part of a click that has anything to do with trying to make this girl feel bad for having not only my own memories but my own opportunity for conversation if someone is willing. A note to your sort of people......take that waste of hostile energy somewhere else. I am not going to turn my back on a freespirited soul that finds themselves on TV or on the Screen. Just as I wouldn't expect them to do the same. Your not taking my happyness or freespirited self away from this girl. Quit trying.
A note to the uptight men that continue to try and "hook" this girl up......GET OUT OF MY LIFE
A note to the people that continue to say "okay" to my every waking breath......GET OUT OF MY LIFE!
A note to everyone that continues to call me crazy so that you can justify your hostile and unfair treatment of this girl......"GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!"
As a matter of fact, if your not a free spirited person that believes in a persons right to express and be themselves, and if you find the need to segregate people based on anything rediculous......GET OUT OF MY LIFE
If you somehow think that I am some sort of hooker and you are wanting to stalk this girl so that you know whether or not to slit my throught........DEFINITELY GET OUT OF MY LIFE
If you continue to lie to my father about my intentions or my life's events...GET OUT OF MY LIFE. You have cost this girl someone that not only I love, but could alleviate this drama by ten fold.
A note to the girl that calls herself "ME".....I dont know how you managed to weasel your way into this lifestyle but you are a total manufactured fake, that had to be prompted and told what, where and why. I am attempting to be humble about the events that are happening around me but when you are surrounded by such fakes who have made it into places they were never meant to be, it just makes you feel ill.
On that note, I think today is the sickest I have felt in my entire pregnancy, I have tryed everything to make the morning sickness go away and nothing has worked. I was so sick that I had to lay down for an hour outside. I was ready to hurl.
A note to the man that calls himself "Gee", you video taped this girl in the shower and I dont know how to feel about that. I kind of feel like telling you to get out of my life.
Yes, I was pregnant before.....No it was not a lie. The woman I am speaking to right now will know I am talking to her if she reads this. When I said that I had never been this pregnant before, I was really trying to say that I have never been this sick while I was pregnant before. I noticed your immeadiate abandonment of your chair, desk and computer station in the engineering firm when I said the above statement. Im not perfect. Sometimes the words dont come out the way that they are supposed to when I am stressed, and as you remember I was stressed about being "setup" to look like I would hurt some sort of "American". There are actually times when over exposure to peoples dirty tricks and setups have caused this girl so much trauma that I start to studder. It would be nice if people didn't look for the first opportunity to abandon this girl. That isn't meant in the derogatory sense toward you but it would be nice to have a friend. Not saying that it has to be you but when I am fighting for my baby's and my own life amongst a bunch of people that continually try to "frame" this girl it would be a miracle if someone would give this girl the benefit of the doubt. I am treated most of the time like I am not allowed to be a person. Can you imagine being threatened with the electric chair or accused of theft or murder because you exercised? Or went for a walk with your dog? Or had your favorite sushi? Or met your friend at a really neat boutique? Or had a coffee? Welcome to my life. I have no rights. Everything I am or do is turned into some hanus crime and I am surrounded by people that refuse to leave this girl alone and allow this girl to live a normal life. I am threatened all day, everyday for breathing. I am constantly fighting against being encarserated for no other reason than a maintenance of control. I am not allowed to travel like a regular person without someone trying to accuse this girl of being guilty of something. I have grown tired of this lifestyle. I wish that I not only I had a place that was my own but had some sort of normalcy.
No offense against men but right now I am pregnant and it has been a very interesting experience to say the least. I wish you would understand that I have so much going on right now that I haven't even been able to think about "relationships". I really just need to get situated and figure things out.
A note to the man who is the brother of the man that wrote "running with scissors" (the brother that has Aspergers syndrome) I appreciate your help. Thank you. Unfortunately it took this girl way to long to understand what was being implied or that you were trying to help) as a matter of fact I just now "got it" My life has been almost unbearable with the lack of understanding thats been thrown my way and also the cruelty by the people that continue to set me up.
Perfect example the blonde lady, the one that let this girl stay the night at her house (the first night in San Diego) was my first indication that you might be supportive. That same lady, I have to tell you was nice as pie while we were "inside" the house but I have to tell you that I realized she didn't care one iota about this girl and that it was all an act on her end, when we went outside, she closed the door of the house and proceeded to tell this girl that I stunk. Her exact words were "you stink" as she giggled. It was at that moment that I realized she was another "fake" do gooder that really didn't care about this girl at all. She said it outside so that no one would hear. I didn't stink. I had bathed recently but with only one set of clothes I had no way to change.
I just wanted to tell you that hitchhiking is difficult and sometimes I end up in the wrong direction because I have no control over where the vehicle goes. I am sorry becuase my original intention was to go where I was told i would have access to the aspergers community. I hope your not offended by my inability to get myself to the right places.
There are many people that I would love to thank for being supportive. Unfortunately for you, you are totally unaware of the "setups" that go on behind the scenes. When you get frustrated and decide to abandon this girl it is usually because you have been lied to and you dont even know it. You are told things like..."she's not really pregnant", or "she tested positive for drugs" or "she stole something" or "she's a hooker" the list goes on and on and it is all malarchy. None of it is true. But you dont know that, you believe what you are being told.
It is specifically designed to keep this girl desolate and under the control of the same people that are ruining my life. Remember that the next time they tell you something bad. They do it on purpose. You know how threatening it is to them if you help this girl, get out of the rut I have been stuck in? Very threatening to them, because if you help this girl, I am once again put amongst the same people that I grew up with, they lose control and I can finally get somewhere in life. They wont be able to take credit for my ideas, get paid for my writing, and continue to keep this girl on the street with the lies that they manufacture to keep this girl there.
Jake.....I miss you. I hope you and Kari are very, very happy. You were one of my best friends and now that Im pregnant I wish I could hang out with you and your wife. I'll love her because you love her and I miss being able to ALWAYS be myself around someone. Not to mention all the Philipino food that would be wonderful while Im pregnant. I hope you two are truly happy and you have my blessing for a wonderful life.
Raymi.....I dont know what to say, I keep reaching out to you and it seems as if I keep getting denied. I could be interpreting it wrong but thats how it feels. None the less I hope you are happy in whatever your endeavors and I hope great things for you. I really need a friend right now.
I have struggled so hard and only to have to sit and listen to snide remarks by people that wouldn't dare try to experience what life is like with no resources. The stories of people such as Whoopi Goldburg (started out on welfare) and Angelina Jolie (being a single parent with maddox) and even someone I think is very couragous at her age Jamie Lynn Spears (for deciding to have her baby at such a young age)-Im 34 and having a baby at my age is scary, so I have tons of respect for her. I will say that money does help, I should know, I dont have any of it. So right now I am thinking primarily about Whoopi because she had no money, but Jamie is helping this girl be courageous. There are also stories about people that have gone millions of dollars in debt and then rebuilt themselves back to a positive net worth. And since Im not millions of dollars in debt I figure I have a chance, as long as I can get the"freespirited police" out of my life. I am referring to the people that make it a crime to smile.
I have to say that I am mentally sound except for the instances that are brought about by trauma and repeated exposure to the equivalent of what "Nazi mentality" does to my speach patterns. I also have aspergers, regardless of whether or not you want to "acknowledge" it, it wont just go away.
Im hungry and am leaving to go feed us right now. Ta Ta for now.
I am a person not a puppet. If I dont move fast enough for you maybe its because I was under the impression that I might be allowed to be myself for a couple of hours without being bullied into something else.
To clear something up...I have not had any alcohol lately while I am pregnant nor have I had and why do you think that you are taking over my blogsite now? I am not "owned" by you, that sounds like the slave trade. If you would like to consider myself an equal that would be appreciated. Also, to the people that just sentenced this girl to hell, when they have never even begun to imagine the hell I have been through, really blow my mind. What have I ever done to you? Maybe I dont even understand something that you are referring to. I have aspergers syndrome and maybe you should go to hell for continuing to ignore that and holding this girl responsible for things that she doesn't understand. I keep telling you and you keep ignoring that, I think that is grounds for your trip to hell since you believe so strongly in that. I prefer to think of something slightly on the positive side. This is exactly the kind of thing that I am attempting to get out of my life. The negetivity for no reason. You think you know this girl or what my intentions are but you never have a conversation with this girl. Lame
Love u Obama, I think you are doing a wonderful job.
By the way, of course I care but there is a line between caring and being a marder. I no longer wish to be a marder. I dont think I am selfish for wanting to get off the street and raise my child. I dont appreciate being put down for having no energy left after 5 1/2 years on the street. I am litterally worn out, rightfully. The other girl didn't even spend a quarter of the time that I have on the street before being introduced to her plush existance. I am tired but I am trying.
A note to the uptight men that continue to try and "hook" this girl up......GET OUT OF MY LIFE
A note to the people that continue to say "okay" to my every waking breath......GET OUT OF MY LIFE!
A note to everyone that continues to call me crazy so that you can justify your hostile and unfair treatment of this girl......"GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!"
As a matter of fact, if your not a free spirited person that believes in a persons right to express and be themselves, and if you find the need to segregate people based on anything rediculous......GET OUT OF MY LIFE
If you somehow think that I am some sort of hooker and you are wanting to stalk this girl so that you know whether or not to slit my throught........DEFINITELY GET OUT OF MY LIFE
If you continue to lie to my father about my intentions or my life's events...GET OUT OF MY LIFE. You have cost this girl someone that not only I love, but could alleviate this drama by ten fold.
A note to the girl that calls herself "ME".....I dont know how you managed to weasel your way into this lifestyle but you are a total manufactured fake, that had to be prompted and told what, where and why. I am attempting to be humble about the events that are happening around me but when you are surrounded by such fakes who have made it into places they were never meant to be, it just makes you feel ill.
On that note, I think today is the sickest I have felt in my entire pregnancy, I have tryed everything to make the morning sickness go away and nothing has worked. I was so sick that I had to lay down for an hour outside. I was ready to hurl.
A note to the man that calls himself "Gee", you video taped this girl in the shower and I dont know how to feel about that. I kind of feel like telling you to get out of my life.
Yes, I was pregnant before.....No it was not a lie. The woman I am speaking to right now will know I am talking to her if she reads this. When I said that I had never been this pregnant before, I was really trying to say that I have never been this sick while I was pregnant before. I noticed your immeadiate abandonment of your chair, desk and computer station in the engineering firm when I said the above statement. Im not perfect. Sometimes the words dont come out the way that they are supposed to when I am stressed, and as you remember I was stressed about being "setup" to look like I would hurt some sort of "American". There are actually times when over exposure to peoples dirty tricks and setups have caused this girl so much trauma that I start to studder. It would be nice if people didn't look for the first opportunity to abandon this girl. That isn't meant in the derogatory sense toward you but it would be nice to have a friend. Not saying that it has to be you but when I am fighting for my baby's and my own life amongst a bunch of people that continually try to "frame" this girl it would be a miracle if someone would give this girl the benefit of the doubt. I am treated most of the time like I am not allowed to be a person. Can you imagine being threatened with the electric chair or accused of theft or murder because you exercised? Or went for a walk with your dog? Or had your favorite sushi? Or met your friend at a really neat boutique? Or had a coffee? Welcome to my life. I have no rights. Everything I am or do is turned into some hanus crime and I am surrounded by people that refuse to leave this girl alone and allow this girl to live a normal life. I am threatened all day, everyday for breathing. I am constantly fighting against being encarserated for no other reason than a maintenance of control. I am not allowed to travel like a regular person without someone trying to accuse this girl of being guilty of something. I have grown tired of this lifestyle. I wish that I not only I had a place that was my own but had some sort of normalcy.
No offense against men but right now I am pregnant and it has been a very interesting experience to say the least. I wish you would understand that I have so much going on right now that I haven't even been able to think about "relationships". I really just need to get situated and figure things out.
A note to the man who is the brother of the man that wrote "running with scissors" (the brother that has Aspergers syndrome) I appreciate your help. Thank you. Unfortunately it took this girl way to long to understand what was being implied or that you were trying to help) as a matter of fact I just now "got it" My life has been almost unbearable with the lack of understanding thats been thrown my way and also the cruelty by the people that continue to set me up.
Perfect example the blonde lady, the one that let this girl stay the night at her house (the first night in San Diego) was my first indication that you might be supportive. That same lady, I have to tell you was nice as pie while we were "inside" the house but I have to tell you that I realized she didn't care one iota about this girl and that it was all an act on her end, when we went outside, she closed the door of the house and proceeded to tell this girl that I stunk. Her exact words were "you stink" as she giggled. It was at that moment that I realized she was another "fake" do gooder that really didn't care about this girl at all. She said it outside so that no one would hear. I didn't stink. I had bathed recently but with only one set of clothes I had no way to change.
I just wanted to tell you that hitchhiking is difficult and sometimes I end up in the wrong direction because I have no control over where the vehicle goes. I am sorry becuase my original intention was to go where I was told i would have access to the aspergers community. I hope your not offended by my inability to get myself to the right places.
There are many people that I would love to thank for being supportive. Unfortunately for you, you are totally unaware of the "setups" that go on behind the scenes. When you get frustrated and decide to abandon this girl it is usually because you have been lied to and you dont even know it. You are told things like..."she's not really pregnant", or "she tested positive for drugs" or "she stole something" or "she's a hooker" the list goes on and on and it is all malarchy. None of it is true. But you dont know that, you believe what you are being told.
It is specifically designed to keep this girl desolate and under the control of the same people that are ruining my life. Remember that the next time they tell you something bad. They do it on purpose. You know how threatening it is to them if you help this girl, get out of the rut I have been stuck in? Very threatening to them, because if you help this girl, I am once again put amongst the same people that I grew up with, they lose control and I can finally get somewhere in life. They wont be able to take credit for my ideas, get paid for my writing, and continue to keep this girl on the street with the lies that they manufacture to keep this girl there.
Jake.....I miss you. I hope you and Kari are very, very happy. You were one of my best friends and now that Im pregnant I wish I could hang out with you and your wife. I'll love her because you love her and I miss being able to ALWAYS be myself around someone. Not to mention all the Philipino food that would be wonderful while Im pregnant. I hope you two are truly happy and you have my blessing for a wonderful life.
Raymi.....I dont know what to say, I keep reaching out to you and it seems as if I keep getting denied. I could be interpreting it wrong but thats how it feels. None the less I hope you are happy in whatever your endeavors and I hope great things for you. I really need a friend right now.
I have struggled so hard and only to have to sit and listen to snide remarks by people that wouldn't dare try to experience what life is like with no resources. The stories of people such as Whoopi Goldburg (started out on welfare) and Angelina Jolie (being a single parent with maddox) and even someone I think is very couragous at her age Jamie Lynn Spears (for deciding to have her baby at such a young age)-Im 34 and having a baby at my age is scary, so I have tons of respect for her. I will say that money does help, I should know, I dont have any of it. So right now I am thinking primarily about Whoopi because she had no money, but Jamie is helping this girl be courageous. There are also stories about people that have gone millions of dollars in debt and then rebuilt themselves back to a positive net worth. And since Im not millions of dollars in debt I figure I have a chance, as long as I can get the"freespirited police" out of my life. I am referring to the people that make it a crime to smile.
I have to say that I am mentally sound except for the instances that are brought about by trauma and repeated exposure to the equivalent of what "Nazi mentality" does to my speach patterns. I also have aspergers, regardless of whether or not you want to "acknowledge" it, it wont just go away.
Im hungry and am leaving to go feed us right now. Ta Ta for now.
I am a person not a puppet. If I dont move fast enough for you maybe its because I was under the impression that I might be allowed to be myself for a couple of hours without being bullied into something else.
To clear something up...I have not had any alcohol lately while I am pregnant nor have I had and why do you think that you are taking over my blogsite now? I am not "owned" by you, that sounds like the slave trade. If you would like to consider myself an equal that would be appreciated. Also, to the people that just sentenced this girl to hell, when they have never even begun to imagine the hell I have been through, really blow my mind. What have I ever done to you? Maybe I dont even understand something that you are referring to. I have aspergers syndrome and maybe you should go to hell for continuing to ignore that and holding this girl responsible for things that she doesn't understand. I keep telling you and you keep ignoring that, I think that is grounds for your trip to hell since you believe so strongly in that. I prefer to think of something slightly on the positive side. This is exactly the kind of thing that I am attempting to get out of my life. The negetivity for no reason. You think you know this girl or what my intentions are but you never have a conversation with this girl. Lame
Love u Obama, I think you are doing a wonderful job.
By the way, of course I care but there is a line between caring and being a marder. I no longer wish to be a marder. I dont think I am selfish for wanting to get off the street and raise my child. I dont appreciate being put down for having no energy left after 5 1/2 years on the street. I am litterally worn out, rightfully. The other girl didn't even spend a quarter of the time that I have on the street before being introduced to her plush existance. I am tired but I am trying.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
I guess someone wanted to marry this girl and I didn't even know it.
I highly doubt that they would want to marry this girl now that they know that I am pregnant. Is that why everyone was denying my pregnancy? Because someone wanted to marry this girl. I have the worlds worst timing ever. Oh well, cant blame the man for not wanting a pregnant girl. Whats really funny is I never, ever have sex and now I am pregnant.
I really would prefer to tell the truth rather than lie. If that means the man dumps this girl then he really didn't love this girl at all if he wasn't even willing to have a conversation and ask if I wanted to be with him. Thats alright. At least my kid will love unconditionally. The man dropped me like a hot potato as soon as he found out.
I really would prefer to tell the truth rather than lie. If that means the man dumps this girl then he really didn't love this girl at all if he wasn't even willing to have a conversation and ask if I wanted to be with him. Thats alright. At least my kid will love unconditionally. The man dropped me like a hot potato as soon as he found out.
Now I am being accused of being 9 weeks pregnant by a complete stranger. And the baby's father left while I was researching all sorts of things.
Why wont these people just leave this girl alone. They really want this man that follows me around to look like the father, when I had a period three weeks after we were together. I just would like to have a day where I can be left alone in peace without people demanding things of me.
response to your "yep" comment. And also documentation of sexual harassment.
I wouldn't mind throwing these self centered assholes out on the street to experience what my life is like since they so effortlessly "yep" all the time. I love to give them a taste of their own medicine.
Your stalking this girl.
This man at the San Diego Union Tribune that is named Cory in the Human Resources department, walked toward this girl while grabbing and holding his penis in the front part of his trousers, as if indicating that I partake in oral copulation.
I dont know if someone lied and said that I gave a blowjob or if he was dictating my position in life.
Also dad, you are letting in the very family that destroyed your home.
I now have been threatened with "the chair" once again for using the computer. Go figure.
Your stalking this girl.
This man at the San Diego Union Tribune that is named Cory in the Human Resources department, walked toward this girl while grabbing and holding his penis in the front part of his trousers, as if indicating that I partake in oral copulation.
I dont know if someone lied and said that I gave a blowjob or if he was dictating my position in life.
Also dad, you are letting in the very family that destroyed your home.
I now have been threatened with "the chair" once again for using the computer. Go figure.
Previous business idea from my other blogsite.
Laser light video featuring house music for Autistic and PTSD sufferers.
Video will contain multicolored laser light show in various patterns and colors while in the background plays house music with techno removed. Other examples would be some of the music of ORB and ORBITAL upon permission of course.
Purpose is to bring about NLP changes in brain patterns as well as feel good music that almost litterally massages the inner ear with pleasant pulses without any signs of trebil. Autistic people are severely sensitive in their auditory canal and this is meant to be not only a pleasant listening experience but the light show meant as a means to pull focus together.
Copyright 1/20/2009 Laci Issel/TessCapulet/FallingUpCheeky/TillyFinn @ 6:00pm
I technically had this idea a week ago but being autistic sometimes I cant pull my focus together quick enough to get it blogged but I will warn anyone that attempts to steal this idea that I do have a witness of when the idea was first put in tangible form and I still have the piece of paper.
It has come to my attention that someone has already copyright infringed and plagerized this idea after the copyright date on this page.
Video will contain multicolored laser light show in various patterns and colors while in the background plays house music with techno removed. Other examples would be some of the music of ORB and ORBITAL upon permission of course.
Purpose is to bring about NLP changes in brain patterns as well as feel good music that almost litterally massages the inner ear with pleasant pulses without any signs of trebil. Autistic people are severely sensitive in their auditory canal and this is meant to be not only a pleasant listening experience but the light show meant as a means to pull focus together.
Copyright 1/20/2009 Laci Issel/TessCapulet/FallingUpCheeky/TillyFinn @ 6:00pm
I technically had this idea a week ago but being autistic sometimes I cant pull my focus together quick enough to get it blogged but I will warn anyone that attempts to steal this idea that I do have a witness of when the idea was first put in tangible form and I still have the piece of paper.
It has come to my attention that someone has already copyright infringed and plagerized this idea after the copyright date on this page.
Being outside drives my adrenaline through the roof
Its aweful. I get overwhelmed, the site of the vehicles, passing by so quickly, and the sounds almost deafening. Being pregnant, I seem to get motion sick standing still. Can you imagine what its for my eyes trying to keep up with constant motion of busy streets and highways. They still treat me like I am playing. They are always playing, they never stop. Ive been exposed to the elements for less than 3 hours and I am already increadibly angry. No where to go of my own and it seems like the world is against me. Who could blame the world when they've been lied to so severely, they really think that they are in the right for persecuting me. They dont know that they have been duped. Im up against a wall of cover ups that seems like the great wall.
I have the aspergers syndrome that Im not allowed to have and I cant handle the constant sabotage. I hate my life some days. They keep this girl so stressed out that I can barely spend decent quality time practicing my baby ritual. I cant keep up with the lies. The distances that the lies reach are that of a camel spewing. Its aweful. It makes this girl so angry instead of being able to concentrate on anything positive. I spend all this time being attacked.
I really just dont like being outside anymore. I hate it. The only time I seem to be alright out there is when I am exercising. Otherwise I would prefer to stay inside and concentrate on building a business or healing from all the horrible things that have happened.
Now I hear that because I freaked out that the baby's father left. Great. I didn't know that he was here. Im so tired of looking like a fool because I am thrust out into the great outdoors and I just cant handle the stress of no transportation and vehicles wizzing by. Now I have to go find him, which if I had transportation would be fine. With no transportation that feels like a feat beyond my ability. What if I get all the way back up north and he's not there and I made the trip for nothing. Now I am surrounded by a bunch of people that think that they know me.
I think that the baby's father is under the impression that I am not having the baby or something. They just offered me water alone, which lately will make me gag. That definitely isn't enought to get the baby nourished. It isn't up to any of these people. If he doesn't want it then I shouldn't have to consider anything that he says because I do want it. I am attempting to get something done. This is my life. I didn't go bothering him so he has nothing to complain about. I will exit his life now. Unless he means temporarily, with the water thing, for a couple days until he surfaces again. Like I can count on that. He's a good man but we dont know the first thing about each other. And now it looks like he is irritated. He's a lot younger than I though so I am positive there are things that he just doesn't understand. Freaking out is probably not helping him understand either, its probably just freaking him out. I thought I was alone though, and I probably wouldn't have freaked out if I knew for a fact that he was here. I would have been happy to tell him and see what his reaction was.
Not to mention that these people keep setting me up to make it look like I want 2, whatever the hell that means. Im positive that that isn't helping him either especially if he is watching from afar. Hes probably totally confused.
I am totally tired and just want to take a nap. I dont know if these people have any idea that I have earplugs in and cant hear them except a slight muffle.
Im tired of being treated with no respect. After all that I have been through, you would think that I know about my own experiences in life.
I have the aspergers syndrome that Im not allowed to have and I cant handle the constant sabotage. I hate my life some days. They keep this girl so stressed out that I can barely spend decent quality time practicing my baby ritual. I cant keep up with the lies. The distances that the lies reach are that of a camel spewing. Its aweful. It makes this girl so angry instead of being able to concentrate on anything positive. I spend all this time being attacked.
I really just dont like being outside anymore. I hate it. The only time I seem to be alright out there is when I am exercising. Otherwise I would prefer to stay inside and concentrate on building a business or healing from all the horrible things that have happened.
Now I hear that because I freaked out that the baby's father left. Great. I didn't know that he was here. Im so tired of looking like a fool because I am thrust out into the great outdoors and I just cant handle the stress of no transportation and vehicles wizzing by. Now I have to go find him, which if I had transportation would be fine. With no transportation that feels like a feat beyond my ability. What if I get all the way back up north and he's not there and I made the trip for nothing. Now I am surrounded by a bunch of people that think that they know me.
I think that the baby's father is under the impression that I am not having the baby or something. They just offered me water alone, which lately will make me gag. That definitely isn't enought to get the baby nourished. It isn't up to any of these people. If he doesn't want it then I shouldn't have to consider anything that he says because I do want it. I am attempting to get something done. This is my life. I didn't go bothering him so he has nothing to complain about. I will exit his life now. Unless he means temporarily, with the water thing, for a couple days until he surfaces again. Like I can count on that. He's a good man but we dont know the first thing about each other. And now it looks like he is irritated. He's a lot younger than I though so I am positive there are things that he just doesn't understand. Freaking out is probably not helping him understand either, its probably just freaking him out. I thought I was alone though, and I probably wouldn't have freaked out if I knew for a fact that he was here. I would have been happy to tell him and see what his reaction was.
Not to mention that these people keep setting me up to make it look like I want 2, whatever the hell that means. Im positive that that isn't helping him either especially if he is watching from afar. Hes probably totally confused.
I am totally tired and just want to take a nap. I dont know if these people have any idea that I have earplugs in and cant hear them except a slight muffle.
Im tired of being treated with no respect. After all that I have been through, you would think that I know about my own experiences in life.
Whoever is "breaking up" with this girl....whatever. You contribute to the humiliation and you assume that I would want to be with you. WRONG.
I VALUE HONESTY. AND FOR ALL OF YOU THAT KEEP ATTEMPTING TO ENCARSERATE THIS GIRL, GO TO HELL BECAUSE IVE DONE NOTHING WRONG AND AM NOT GOING TO JAIL FOR NOTHING. THE ACCUSATIONS ARE FALSE. GET A LIFE.
Now you've gone to far
You are telling the world now that my ultrasound is not my own. How cruel can u get. You have immense nerve trying to pretend that I am not really pregnant. As a matter of fact, this is in fact my ultrasound and I am in fact pregnant. I have missed 2 periods (one comes every three weeks) and that computes considering I am 7 weeks and 3 days pregnant.
A relative of Heather Locklear just made fun of my ultrasound commenting condencendingly and asking if the picture of the baby was an eyeball. How utterly rude and yet another attempt at trying to humiliate this girl. Either that or she was covertly trying to help(highly unlikely).
I couldn't do this to my worst enemy. I have no idea what beef the stars have with me. I dont understand, unless they have been grossly lied to, what the motivation for such hatred would be.
I have been totally and completely humiliated over the last 3 weeks by overzealous guilty people that obviously are keeping up the facade that they dont have something to do with my suffering.
I've never, in my life, heard of this happening to someone. How do these people get away with this behavior and the cruelty that they have displayed.
The ultrasound is in fact mine and now they have lied to some poor woman and told her that I am carrying around a picture of her child. Utter disgust is all I feel right now. Now they are involving the lives of two other innocent bystandards in this saga.
You are going to see the biggest civil rights lawsuit in history.
A relative of Heather Locklear just made fun of my ultrasound commenting condencendingly and asking if the picture of the baby was an eyeball. How utterly rude and yet another attempt at trying to humiliate this girl. Either that or she was covertly trying to help(highly unlikely).
I couldn't do this to my worst enemy. I have no idea what beef the stars have with me. I dont understand, unless they have been grossly lied to, what the motivation for such hatred would be.
I have been totally and completely humiliated over the last 3 weeks by overzealous guilty people that obviously are keeping up the facade that they dont have something to do with my suffering.
I've never, in my life, heard of this happening to someone. How do these people get away with this behavior and the cruelty that they have displayed.
The ultrasound is in fact mine and now they have lied to some poor woman and told her that I am carrying around a picture of her child. Utter disgust is all I feel right now. Now they are involving the lives of two other innocent bystandards in this saga.
You are going to see the biggest civil rights lawsuit in history.
New Business Idea
Workout video and nutrition guide for the chubby to overweight pregnant woman.
Concept is how to lose a little weight and tone up while your pregnant. Specifically designed for women that are already overweight when they become pregnant.
Nutrition guide designed to show the woman what foods will not only benefit the baby but will also help to take off some weight.
Copyright January 28, 2009 11:37am by Laci Issel
Note to the reader....Once this is in published form, you run the risk of copyright infringement and plagerism as it is not only published but is copyrighted as of now.
Concept is how to lose a little weight and tone up while your pregnant. Specifically designed for women that are already overweight when they become pregnant.
Nutrition guide designed to show the woman what foods will not only benefit the baby but will also help to take off some weight.
Copyright January 28, 2009 11:37am by Laci Issel
Note to the reader....Once this is in published form, you run the risk of copyright infringement and plagerism as it is not only published but is copyrighted as of now.
To the little one, luv a bug
Hi love. I am at the Crowne Plaza and you are swimming around in my belly. You are 7 weeks and 3 days old. You look like a little alien according to the pamphelts that your mama has. You now have eyelids. Thank Goodness, love!
I am trying to hold on to you with all my heart. There are very bad, pushy, people that think it is somehow up to them whether or not we stay together. Your mama is strong though and wont allow them to hurt you or I.
Hold on, you've been through some rough water because these people wont allow your mother to enjoy you fully. They keep your mother pretty stressed out and for the most part they have created a box in which to keep her in. Dont Fret!!!!!! That, my child, is what they have box cutters for!! Dun ta dun, ta wan da!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They should be ashamed of themselves for trying to make your developement rocky, but they have no conscience, love. They dont care about you or your mother. They make it very hard for your mother to eat or drink. They are into status and at all costs. They dont know that there are people like you being bred to lead the world and that one day they will have you holding them accountable for their actions.
There is a president right now that is decent love, and your mother is hoping that you will be one of the first new babies born under a compassionate reign.
Here is the name I am thinking of if you are a boy right now...."Rafe" I think that it is a great name for both a baby and a man. I've had this on my name list ever since I confirmed your existance. If you are a girl, I haven't found a name that really strikes your mother yet. I love the name Colliope but I dont think that I could call you that everyday of your life. Its kind of like its good for a "one time" use but not to be said over and over again.
I dont want to scare you but I have some concerns. Remember I told you about the bad people, there are some that are totally obsessed with hurting your mother. They have talked about chaining your mother up for no other reason than your mother is to smart and they are afraid that the truth of what they have done will come out. Your mother is threatened constantly by these pushy people. They have used us for many purposes and for their own greed. Dont worry love, its not over yet. I love you. Today is January 28, 2009 and you are due September 13, 2009. I write to you later. Kisses.
A note about your father....he is a handsome, handsome man 24 by the time you arrive. He has blonde hair, blue eyes and is extremely clean cut. He looks like a frat brother. He is a secret for now.
There is a bad man that keeps stalking your mother that thinks that he is your father. He is a big oaf and I have grown tired of trying to be nice and ask if he will exit our lives. Im so sorry love. He wont leave us alone and thinks that he has rights over your mothers body. He is not your father. You mother is trying to find a way to press charges for stalking
Ps Beware of the overweight bumbling idiot men, they are pushy and threatening. Also, love, as I write this, there are people that think that you are all part of their game. We've got news for them dont we. We aren't playing. I just have to figure out how to keep you from having to share a classroom with their limited offspring.
I am trying to hold on to you with all my heart. There are very bad, pushy, people that think it is somehow up to them whether or not we stay together. Your mama is strong though and wont allow them to hurt you or I.
Hold on, you've been through some rough water because these people wont allow your mother to enjoy you fully. They keep your mother pretty stressed out and for the most part they have created a box in which to keep her in. Dont Fret!!!!!! That, my child, is what they have box cutters for!! Dun ta dun, ta wan da!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They should be ashamed of themselves for trying to make your developement rocky, but they have no conscience, love. They dont care about you or your mother. They make it very hard for your mother to eat or drink. They are into status and at all costs. They dont know that there are people like you being bred to lead the world and that one day they will have you holding them accountable for their actions.
There is a president right now that is decent love, and your mother is hoping that you will be one of the first new babies born under a compassionate reign.
Here is the name I am thinking of if you are a boy right now...."Rafe" I think that it is a great name for both a baby and a man. I've had this on my name list ever since I confirmed your existance. If you are a girl, I haven't found a name that really strikes your mother yet. I love the name Colliope but I dont think that I could call you that everyday of your life. Its kind of like its good for a "one time" use but not to be said over and over again.
I dont want to scare you but I have some concerns. Remember I told you about the bad people, there are some that are totally obsessed with hurting your mother. They have talked about chaining your mother up for no other reason than your mother is to smart and they are afraid that the truth of what they have done will come out. Your mother is threatened constantly by these pushy people. They have used us for many purposes and for their own greed. Dont worry love, its not over yet. I love you. Today is January 28, 2009 and you are due September 13, 2009. I write to you later. Kisses.
A note about your father....he is a handsome, handsome man 24 by the time you arrive. He has blonde hair, blue eyes and is extremely clean cut. He looks like a frat brother. He is a secret for now.
There is a bad man that keeps stalking your mother that thinks that he is your father. He is a big oaf and I have grown tired of trying to be nice and ask if he will exit our lives. Im so sorry love. He wont leave us alone and thinks that he has rights over your mothers body. He is not your father. You mother is trying to find a way to press charges for stalking
Ps Beware of the overweight bumbling idiot men, they are pushy and threatening. Also, love, as I write this, there are people that think that you are all part of their game. We've got news for them dont we. We aren't playing. I just have to figure out how to keep you from having to share a classroom with their limited offspring.
I need a fresh outlook
Dad and Lenda--LOve u and if I did something wrong, I am sorry. I hope you both are well and the kids too. I am pregnant. Dad, you have a grandchild on the way. Trippy. I feel like I am glowing right now, but I wish that you were here to see my belly grow. I suppose if you just imagine my heaviest point then Im positive you can create a visual. Hee, Hee, Hee.
Some of these people wont leave this girl alone and it is very hard to continue on my own without your guidance or love. There is a shortage of love on this planet and that is why I am having this baby. Its going to be totally cute, dad. Dont be mad, but I miss mom also. I know that you are opposites but you have to understand how hard it is to try and not miss one over the other. I love you and your family with all my heart and always will. Same goes for mom.
I am attempting to originate some ideas that will fund my baby and I. You would be proud if you knew everything that I have accomplished through these hard times on my own. You will be proud again because I am not going to quit. I am determined, just like you were to make something of myself. I want this child to be raised by myself and the father (if he chooses) and by healthy family members. I am trying to create an environment in which I may be able to stay home and still work.
I have this inspirational article in front of this girl right now about a 25 year old man that created WordPress.com (blogging site). I tryed to sign up for this site but for some reason it wouldn't let this girl. Anyway the point is that there are all these people out there making a difference in the world and I have always been part of this click (in the absentee sense).
There must be an entreprenuerial gene in the family dad because I just cant be satisfied until I create something great.
There are people that try to keep this girl from being productive and that is such a waste of time and energy not to mention, I really dont understand someone attempting to hinder another when all that makes this girl happy is seeing others succeed.
I dont understand why I cant have a normal day. This woman has gone out of her way to be loud as hell around this girl. These people never stop trying to "exert" their illusion of "power" over this girl. Its getting so old dad. A bunch of people that have never missed a meal or stepped out of their comfort zone telling this girl what I can and cant have in life. I refuse to allow these kind of people to have anything to do with my child.
I am having the baby at home, absolutely no hospitals. I refuse to have my child subjected or exposed to not only a sickly environment but also personalities that I find damaging or unacceptable to the growth of my child's exquisite mind. No, pushy, I have to have my way, types allowed because this planet will be about he or she. These people had their chance to do something different and chose to take the low road, litterally they have sunk so low. I refuse to allow them to pollute my childs imagination or growth.
These people litterally shout attempting to get my attention all the while I have earplugs in and can only hear a muffle. Thank goodness.
Love you dad and lenda.
Some of these people wont leave this girl alone and it is very hard to continue on my own without your guidance or love. There is a shortage of love on this planet and that is why I am having this baby. Its going to be totally cute, dad. Dont be mad, but I miss mom also. I know that you are opposites but you have to understand how hard it is to try and not miss one over the other. I love you and your family with all my heart and always will. Same goes for mom.
I am attempting to originate some ideas that will fund my baby and I. You would be proud if you knew everything that I have accomplished through these hard times on my own. You will be proud again because I am not going to quit. I am determined, just like you were to make something of myself. I want this child to be raised by myself and the father (if he chooses) and by healthy family members. I am trying to create an environment in which I may be able to stay home and still work.
I have this inspirational article in front of this girl right now about a 25 year old man that created WordPress.com (blogging site). I tryed to sign up for this site but for some reason it wouldn't let this girl. Anyway the point is that there are all these people out there making a difference in the world and I have always been part of this click (in the absentee sense).
There must be an entreprenuerial gene in the family dad because I just cant be satisfied until I create something great.
There are people that try to keep this girl from being productive and that is such a waste of time and energy not to mention, I really dont understand someone attempting to hinder another when all that makes this girl happy is seeing others succeed.
I dont understand why I cant have a normal day. This woman has gone out of her way to be loud as hell around this girl. These people never stop trying to "exert" their illusion of "power" over this girl. Its getting so old dad. A bunch of people that have never missed a meal or stepped out of their comfort zone telling this girl what I can and cant have in life. I refuse to allow these kind of people to have anything to do with my child.
I am having the baby at home, absolutely no hospitals. I refuse to have my child subjected or exposed to not only a sickly environment but also personalities that I find damaging or unacceptable to the growth of my child's exquisite mind. No, pushy, I have to have my way, types allowed because this planet will be about he or she. These people had their chance to do something different and chose to take the low road, litterally they have sunk so low. I refuse to allow them to pollute my childs imagination or growth.
These people litterally shout attempting to get my attention all the while I have earplugs in and can only hear a muffle. Thank goodness.
Love you dad and lenda.
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