Something different

Finally some thoughts about something other than harassment and stalking problems.
Finally had a space to myself, it was wonderful. No one to say things that I dont want to hear. No one to play with my head and no one that is just a jerk trying to play the game. A normal environment filled with healthy thoughts and a smile. I even began to feel like a woman instead of the child that has had to continue running for the last 3 weeks.
What a difference a door makes. Something to shut on the world an a way to unwind and relax from constant greed, clamor, and hostility.
I am a love and I appreciate the ability to be in an environment where no one is trying to hurt this girl.
Even had a small fantasy about Ben Affleck. But felt bad about Jen so I tried to think about Donnie Wahlberg (havent seen him with someone so thought it was safe). I remember when Tyla and I used to have these grand fantasies about these men. It also reminds this girl of Kendall and the fantasies she used to have about Leonardo DiCaprio (Darn, forgot about him, he would have been a good one). Its a totally normal thing to think about some far off man wanting to hold you and ravage your very existance. Someone that you know you will never be with but is an escape from reality.
Found out last night that Tara is "Annie". Im not sure how to feel about that considering my own family, my god family and my father have all turned their backs on this girl in favor of a complete stranger to them. They were all lied to about this girl in order to get her in with them. My family thinks things about this girl that arent even true. They told my father that I was on drugs to get him to turn his back on this girl (wasn't true), god only knows what they told everyone else. Not to mention they used my manuscripts to elevate her even further. Im not mad at her, but not positive how she could help facilitate the lies for her own gain. I could have never done that to her or any one else. But hey, even my closest friend Kendall took her first chance to rid herself of this girl. Cant say that my feelings aren't hurt, that all these people that once supposedly "cared" about this girl are now catering to a manufactured image rather than a real person. The person that they are adoring as "annie" is compilation of fiction and myself transferred to her image. Glad I could be of help. (I mean that sarcastically) Meanwhile my life is usually in danger, but she is all nice an warm in Barbados or Tahiti somewhere. They also lied to my father and told him that the pregnancy was fake when it wasn't. Now he really has no respect for his own daughter.
I still have people negotiating "time" for things that aren't real. I have people that are trying to say that one of the hotels I stayed at is in question when all things that had a cost were given permission for by the gentleman that rented the room for this girl. They are trying to attack this girl for that stay. That gentleman,Mr. Bettencourt, and I entered into a verbal contract that stated that I was allowed to stay at the hotel in question, for a period of two nights, and was allowed to order breakfast room service. Nothing was said about whether or not this would be a problem. I also used this time to try and contact friends and relatives to try and help my situation as I was trying to find a place to go because of the pregnancy and being homeless. He was fully aware of my intention to find a place to go after the hotel stay. If this is a problem for someone it would be a civil matter between Mr. Bettencourt and myself. This is not a matter of credit card fraud or theft as I checked in with Mr. Bettencourt and the desk person was fully aware of my presence. He was nice decent man that was attempting to provide lodging and some food for myself. I think that the credit card company is attempting to try and make an issue out of this for no reason. I have never trashed a hotel room, so if that is being said that is also a lie.
I am not a theif. I dont steal from people and I dont appreciate the world thinking that I would defraud a credit card or someone (419). I can only imagine that my father was probably lied to about these events. This is yet another desparate attempt to get myself encarserated not only to make this girl look bad but to sway a population in a certain predetermined direction. No one wants this girl to be thought of as decent and I have endured a million attempts to smear my name. Some have worked because I didn't catch on in time and these assholes keep this girl running with their constant harassment and stalking. So that leaves the world with an impression of guilt because they dont know to the extent that I am being harassed. The world only sees what they have carefully concockted, not what is actually truth.
Im not worried though, one day the truth will come out and I know with as much as my father respects truth that he will appologize for turning his back on his own daughter in favor of a complete stranger. Right now he really thinks these things are true, so I have to give him some room to be wrong, because he doesn't know. Love you dad, love you mom, love you girls (stepsisters and half sisters) and I hope that know that I am not the girl that they say that I am.
They really went overboard and crossed the line when they were willing to "snuff this girl out" to get another in. If you have to work that hard it shouldn't be allowed. If you have to lie to make the world love a girl that you want to make "annie" then its not real.
Im not mad at her, shes just like everyone else, same mentality, willing to run this girl over to get herself in. Not surprising.
Now when the truth comes out they try to threaten someone "hand" again so that I will look bad. They are so predictable. They pull the same routine everytime. Now someones hand is conveniently my responsibility just because I am telling the truth about the situation. This is a desperate attempt to make this girl look like a monster. They will lie to my father and tell him that I was willing to risk his hand and that is why Tara is that precious, they will make her look like she saved his hand. I want to go throw up now. Another attempt, to make this girl look like a savage.
Iam a kind decent and loving soul, with morals.
If dont waste your breath asking this girl "are you ready" what a fucking gross statement. What they mean when they say this is "are you ready to have sex to get out of jail?" Disgusting. And considering that I haven't done anything to deserve jail, I say shove it up your wazoo. They are threatening this girl because I carry with this girl truth. Part of this girl cant wait until I hear that said to "annie". I just want to hear it once. She's the one that lied to get where shes at and now all of her supporters think that theres no way the truth will come out. I assure you, "the truth" always, eventually comes out.