I am traveling to find and secure a healthy lifestyle for myself and my child. I am in no way a "Y" (better known as a terrorist) or racist at all. I have a specific group of people that want it to look like I am trying to get "2" or to try and become someones girlfriend. I really dont have an intrest in someone elses man (for the millionth time) and since I am pregnant, I want only find and establish my life in a decent community. I no longer know what to do to have a normal life. I am tired of this journey and always having to outrun my uncle and members of my family that use this girl to aid in their success.
I am thoroughly tired of dealing with this as my life and people that think that everything is about an entertainer (eminem, 50 cent, Dr Dre). Although I wish no harm to come to any of them, I assure you that my life is valuable without these three people approving or disapproving of my actions. I hope that they have wonderful things come to them and their families but personally i have my own life and i would really appreciate being able to live it now.
I am trying to find a life in the midst of this tug of war. I was officially secret service in LA but because I have aspergers syndrome I wasn't able to process this valuable information until it was to late. Now I am in another state.
A note to my father. I cant keep up with all the setups and you are definitely being lied to. I am sorry that we have been unable to have a conversation so that I would be able to clear this matter up with you but it has been almost impossible to dodge all the setups. Tara's uncle is still trying to get her in w/u.
Now I have this crazy group of people trying to break one of my bones as it is their belief that such an action will "get M out" in their lingo. God I hate this existance. A bunch of mentally unstable people trying to tell this girl how i have to live and i dont share any of their assanine beliefs.
A note to anyone that is of color (people that dont have white skin) I love all people and have never been racist. I am not racist against white folks either.
A note to the lunatics that go around calling people whores and sluts....you should find something a little on the positive side to concentrate on. YOu might have less time to judge others. I have nothing against any woman or the decisions that she makes with her body and never would I punish someone for their personal beliefs. I have better things to do with my time than to try and prove anything to your kind of people. I dont take your tests. Find someone else to recruit to try and degrade women, Im not a part of your group.
I really wish I could have a normal life. I am tired of being ripped off and used and now my father has again been turned on this girl. I am weary. I wish that I could just concentrate on my pregnancy. Nobody wants this baby to live. This baby is part of a group of people that are aware of its existance but cant acknowledge it until I can dissassociate myself from all these bizaare groups of people out their. My baby shares the same group as Brandi's Daughter(chin.rer)o duck into this hotel to write this but by no means do I want 2 because I am in here and no offense Tara, I am still want my mothers side of the family to either accept this girl or get out of my life. I am done trying to prove things to you or them. At this time I am concerned about my father and the lies that he is being told. I care also about my mother.
A note to Will Smith....i have aspergers syndrome and because people haven't been exactly trustworthy sometimes i jump the gun and make the wrong decision which pushes the direction of my life away from your help or what you are trying to help with. I am sorry, but I need for you to understand that it is no way intentional. Like I said, it takes this girl hours to days of uninterupted peace to piece together information. Because I am used to people using and abusing this girl, it has been incredibly difficult to not run away from the very people that are attempting to help (the set ups also make it look like I am against the people that are trying to help.) In my effort to live my life normally, you have ended up offended and for that I am sorry. I do not believe in the taking of peoples hands but after 5 years on the road and now the fact that I am pregnant i am in a hurry to go where I can make a life (a shelter) I am having a baby regardless of what these people say. Their is nothing wrong with this girl mentally other than the fact that I have aspergers syndrome which is easily handled in a normal stable living environment. I have a ton of respect for you
Will, Jada and family. I didn't really understand until this morning that you were trying to help. Also remember that as a form of the aspergers that I remember and forget some pieces of info all day as I am innundated constantly with visual and auditory stimulus, not to mention dodging all the setups to make yu think that I somehow dont care about you or your efforts. That last statment goes out to everyone that has legitimately tried to help. Including the other William.
Another note. There are groups of people that I dont share beliefs with. These groups include but are not limited to people that find the need to hurt anyone for any reason. It is not some right that you have,whether you think you do or not, to go around "punishing" individuals for not living, adhearing or believing in the same things that you believe. Dont EVER associate myself with you. I do not claim your beliefs or your practices.
A note to the baby's father....I know that you have found out by now that I am pregnant with your child. I am sorry that I haven't had the resources to tell you myself (no transportation of my own) But I know that you have found out. I am also sorry that you may have felt embarassment because these people have done everything in their power to make this girl look totally pathetic. And to be honest, at times I have felt totally desparate. It is a desparation that I hope you as the father has never had to experience. I want you to know that I have respect for you because the life i have growing inside this girl is half of you and I would never intentionally do anything to hurt or embarass you, even though we dont know eachother that well. I will admit to you that given the unfair situation I have been put in both before you and after you, that i have been exposed to people that have fully capitalized on my need for shelter. They stepped over their boundaries to make a long story short and because I am naive and dont know how to say "no" sometimes I have ended up being pushed beyond what was originally acceptable to this girl. They took advantage and video taped it. If my mom was here she could tell you that I have never been able to say "no" my whole life. I am sorry if you have been made to believe that i am some sort of hooker, but I assure you that I have never been. I have been used for others games and purposes but the girl that you were with that night was totally heartbroken because of these prior events that have now been shown to god only knows who on video. That is how we ended up together that night.
I really didn't think I would be able to get pregnant, otherwise I might have insisted on something else. I figured I was too old and my body was to unhealthy from stress. Not the case obviously. I wont totally go into it but I have been pregant before but I was in better health. That baby died when I was four months (plus or minus). No, didn't have an abortion. The point is that i am actually a really bright and intelligent girl with phenominal business sense. Unfortunately all you get to see is the homeless side. You are a good man for attempting to look past what everyone wanted you to see. What is really there is a wonderful person that would never hurt anyone on purpose. I will never keep you away from your child as long as you wish to be included. I promise to never say anything derogatory about yu or allow anyone else to either. I believe that that promotes self esteem in a growing child when they are constantly reminded of not only how much they are loved but also that their parents are great people that are supportive of each other. How could anyone look at that little face and say something aweful about one of the people that created it. Hopefully at some interval we can get together and have a real conversation. Hope all is well and just know that I am supportive of you.
A note to everybody, I am not playing. I would appreciate it if you stopped overanalyzing my every action or lack of action and realized that I am a real person with my own personality. Also if you could refrain from using the word "YA" everywhere I go, I would really appreciate it. I hear it constantly, and when I say constantly I mean that as soon as you let it pass from your lips, the minute I turn my head in the opposite direction there is someone else waiting to say it. I have no room to breath and you are selfish to think that I am not allowed to enjoy a regular day without your version of what you think I am up to. You seem to not understand that anything can become abusive, when I cant enjoy a moment without hearing "YA" it is officially verbal abuse. If you were to be truthful, you have never been able to pinpoint a time when I have gone out of my way to try and make you "aware" of how I feel about your actions within your own life that dont even affect this girl. Im wondering why with your great life, why you cant just keep you mouth shut about my existence when it doesn't even affect you. You dont see this girl trying to stick my nose in your activities or your personal life. I have no desire because I realize I have worth of my own, whether you think so or not.
If I decide to leave a city and go to the next it is usually because I've grown tired of the attitudes displayed toward this girl and not for the reasons you make up in your head. Not everyone will put themselves in the boxes you create for them, there are a few, such as myself, that will throw your box in the bailer and keep on believing in myself. You should try stranding on your own two feet sometimes, but hey, I know that for you it is so much easier to sway with the crowd. If you decide to brave it one day, as I have, you will find that it isn't easy to make your own path. You call this girl every name in the book and yet you haven't even attempted to break out of your comfort zone. That is why I dont listen to your demands, you mean nothing to this girl if your abusive and dont know the first thing about what your talking about. No offense to good, decent, phenominal, caring, loving, or great people out there.
Also I have not done anything to deserve jail time or a FAKE warrant (my uncles craftmanship) It is an attempt to keep this girl under the control of a tyrant that I refuse to adhere to.
I would appreciate if you stop setting this girl up also to look like I am willing to risk someones hands or fingers, thank you.
Also I was threatened in the mall last night by a woman pushing a stroller (had a neon green blanket coving baby) near the restrooms (out of public view). I was told that if I kept "talking" that they would make sure I had no where to stay (shelters, battered womens homes etc). Basically they keep lying to you and every effort I make to clear my name and make positive steps in a productive direction are thwarted by this. They want this girl to look like an unfit parent all the while it is them keeping this girl from being able to establish myself anywhere. Their ultimate goal is for this girl to have to give up the baby for adoption, which is not going to happen. If they would stop sabotaging my life I would have already had a career and employment by now. It is because of them that I look as if I cant handle the responsibility. They have taken away every opportunity I have had.
Also my blogs are being plagerized and passed off as other peoples words.
A note to the billionaires. It is amazing to this girl that you dont take into consideration the fact that I am existing with no resources. My father is a part of your sector and these people have not only been lying to you but to him as well.
Ashley, I have no idea why you went "so". I am sorry if you were under the wrong impression or if you got lied to. With all the setups I sometimes am exhausted and cant keep up with my efforts at relocation. I know that you have left this girl here as you felt that somehow I didn't care because I am worn out. I hope that my father as well as any of his supporters reconsider my efforts for relocation either in the 30 something group or the 40 something group. And although both groups are completely different I still hope one of them takes this girl seriously. I feel bad for anyone that I offend that has tried to help or has been lied to. Like I said I am not playing and my first priority is to establish myself somewhere where my child and I can live in peace. My father and mother relocated and that would be my optimum goal also.
Also, I dont have a problem with any country and that includes the US. I just wish I had the same rights as everyone else.
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