sassparent: Im not playing

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Im not playing

I've lost all hope of people doing the right thing or being real. I am STILL beng accused of things that I dont understand. I've lost all hope in people completely. Its all about control for them and how they can use this girl as their Jesus, but my actual well being doesn't matter as well as there is no truth in most things they say, and it doesn't matter how my feelings are trashed by lies. I give up on the majority of the mass population.
I shouldn't be lied about so that someone can have their way. My life is already trashed. They still want more from this girl.
I dont want to "do" your kids, children dont turn this girl on (for the millionth time) and Im pregnant and am not going to starve this child for your theatrics or your games.
They very people that should have compassion for this girl have some sort of vendetta against this girl and I dont understand. Ive never done anything to these people, they have money, and a place to live and everyone still treats myself as if I am the problem. I hate this planet.
I wish they had to experience what its like having a bunch of people trying to make you their Jesus. Im beyond feeling used at this point.

I would like to say thank you to a multitude of people that have helped myself, with food and shelter.
And they still dont acknowledge the fact that I myself has aspergers syndrome, they are treating this girl like I am some sort of advocate, (which isn't bad but Im sorry but Im not here to always further the cause, I am confused sometimes because I am suffering with the actual problem).
Everyone is trying to say that I am trying to "get annie" which has nothing to do with my actual life. Not everything is about Annie. I have a right to have a life without being lied about, because someone thinks that I am trying to be "annie". How come these people cant think that I have my own personality without my life revolving around Annie. Before it was Annie I was accused of trying to "get M". It never ends. There is no truth in what these people say about this girl. My whole life seems to be about someone else, when really I am just trying to make a life for myself and my child.

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They keep forgetting to tell you that I am autistic and have aspergers syndrome.

Aspergers syndrome is often misdiagnosed as schitzophrenia because autistic people have to mirror behaviors and that is mistaken for having an "alternate" personality. Autistic people look to you to learn an action or a behavior (mirroring) because they dont know how to manufest the behavior or action on their own. An example is on my own I look funny when I run, but if I look to my junior high school friend as a physical mirror then I can "adopt" her way of striding, so that I look less awkward. Same thing goes for words and likes and dislikes. Sometimes I have had to look to my friends for guidance and when someone realizes that I am a combination of a multitute of "friends" they mistake that as having "personalities". Example would be anyone that moves here from a different country and can learn english but dont know some forms of slang. I am very litteral, I know english, but the grey areas (ie, the slang) have been taught to this girl by my friends. That is autism, they dont know slang and everything is litteral, very few grey areas, we have to be taught to loosen up. That is not the same as having an alternate personality.