I cant get these crazy people out of my life

These people that say "okay" all the time are still making my life miserable. They think it is some sort of bad thing to have anything whatsoever to do with entertainment. If you happen to notice a celebrity relative, you are called "okay" as if it is some sort of bad taboo thing to converse with a celebrity. They make the entertainment industry look like it is some sort of bad thing, like they themselves dont go to the movies or watch TV. It is really tiresome to deal with this group of people as my mother and I and all my friends growing up were glued to magazines, Tv and the Sliver Screen. It is part of who I am to notice that a certain person relative from 90210 (A show I was glued to every episode) suddenly surfaces in my area. I refuse to feel guilty or to be a part of a click that has anything to do with trying to make this girl feel bad for having not only my own memories but my own opportunity for conversation if someone is willing. A note to your sort of people......take that waste of hostile energy somewhere else. I am not going to turn my back on a freespirited soul that finds themselves on TV or on the Screen. Just as I wouldn't expect them to do the same. Your not taking my happyness or freespirited self away from this girl. Quit trying.

A note to the uptight men that continue to try and "hook" this girl up......GET OUT OF MY LIFE

A note to the people that continue to say "okay" to my every waking breath......GET OUT OF MY LIFE!



A note to everyone that continues to call me crazy so that you can justify your hostile and unfair treatment of this girl......"GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!"

As a matter of fact, if your not a free spirited person that believes in a persons right to express and be themselves, and if you find the need to segregate people based on anything rediculous......GET OUT OF MY LIFE

If you somehow think that I am some sort of hooker and you are wanting to stalk this girl so that you know whether or not to slit my throught........DEFINITELY GET OUT OF MY LIFE

If you continue to lie to my father about my intentions or my life's events...GET OUT OF MY LIFE. You have cost this girl someone that not only I love, but could alleviate this drama by ten fold.

A note to the girl that calls herself "ME".....I dont know how you managed to weasel your way into this lifestyle but you are a total manufactured fake, that had to be prompted and told what, where and why. I am attempting to be humble about the events that are happening around me but when you are surrounded by such fakes who have made it into places they were never meant to be, it just makes you feel ill.

On that note, I think today is the sickest I have felt in my entire pregnancy, I have tryed everything to make the morning sickness go away and nothing has worked. I was so sick that I had to lay down for an hour outside. I was ready to hurl.

A note to the man that calls himself "Gee", you video taped this girl in the shower and I dont know how to feel about that. I kind of feel like telling you to get out of my life.



Yes, I was pregnant before.....No it was not a lie. The woman I am speaking to right now will know I am talking to her if she reads this. When I said that I had never been this pregnant before, I was really trying to say that I have never been this sick while I was pregnant before. I noticed your immeadiate abandonment of your chair, desk and computer station in the engineering firm when I said the above statement. Im not perfect. Sometimes the words dont come out the way that they are supposed to when I am stressed, and as you remember I was stressed about being "setup" to look like I would hurt some sort of "American". There are actually times when over exposure to peoples dirty tricks and setups have caused this girl so much trauma that I start to studder. It would be nice if people didn't look for the first opportunity to abandon this girl. That isn't meant in the derogatory sense toward you but it would be nice to have a friend. Not saying that it has to be you but when I am fighting for my baby's and my own life amongst a bunch of people that continually try to "frame" this girl it would be a miracle if someone would give this girl the benefit of the doubt. I am treated most of the time like I am not allowed to be a person. Can you imagine being threatened with the electric chair or accused of theft or murder because you exercised? Or went for a walk with your dog? Or had your favorite sushi? Or met your friend at a really neat boutique? Or had a coffee? Welcome to my life. I have no rights. Everything I am or do is turned into some hanus crime and I am surrounded by people that refuse to leave this girl alone and allow this girl to live a normal life. I am threatened all day, everyday for breathing. I am constantly fighting against being encarserated for no other reason than a maintenance of control. I am not allowed to travel like a regular person without someone trying to accuse this girl of being guilty of something. I have grown tired of this lifestyle. I wish that I not only I had a place that was my own but had some sort of normalcy.
No offense against men but right now I am pregnant and it has been a very interesting experience to say the least. I wish you would understand that I have so much going on right now that I haven't even been able to think about "relationships". I really just need to get situated and figure things out.
A note to the man who is the brother of the man that wrote "running with scissors" (the brother that has Aspergers syndrome) I appreciate your help. Thank you. Unfortunately it took this girl way to long to understand what was being implied or that you were trying to help) as a matter of fact I just now "got it" My life has been almost unbearable with the lack of understanding thats been thrown my way and also the cruelty by the people that continue to set me up.
Perfect example the blonde lady, the one that let this girl stay the night at her house (the first night in San Diego) was my first indication that you might be supportive. That same lady, I have to tell you was nice as pie while we were "inside" the house but I have to tell you that I realized she didn't care one iota about this girl and that it was all an act on her end, when we went outside, she closed the door of the house and proceeded to tell this girl that I stunk. Her exact words were "you stink" as she giggled. It was at that moment that I realized she was another "fake" do gooder that really didn't care about this girl at all. She said it outside so that no one would hear. I didn't stink. I had bathed recently but with only one set of clothes I had no way to change.
I just wanted to tell you that hitchhiking is difficult and sometimes I end up in the wrong direction because I have no control over where the vehicle goes. I am sorry becuase my original intention was to go where I was told i would have access to the aspergers community. I hope your not offended by my inability to get myself to the right places.
There are many people that I would love to thank for being supportive. Unfortunately for you, you are totally unaware of the "setups" that go on behind the scenes. When you get frustrated and decide to abandon this girl it is usually because you have been lied to and you dont even know it. You are told things like..."she's not really pregnant", or "she tested positive for drugs" or "she stole something" or "she's a hooker" the list goes on and on and it is all malarchy. None of it is true. But you dont know that, you believe what you are being told.
It is specifically designed to keep this girl desolate and under the control of the same people that are ruining my life. Remember that the next time they tell you something bad. They do it on purpose. You know how threatening it is to them if you help this girl, get out of the rut I have been stuck in? Very threatening to them, because if you help this girl, I am once again put amongst the same people that I grew up with, they lose control and I can finally get somewhere in life. They wont be able to take credit for my ideas, get paid for my writing, and continue to keep this girl on the street with the lies that they manufacture to keep this girl there.
Jake.....I miss you. I hope you and Kari are very, very happy. You were one of my best friends and now that Im pregnant I wish I could hang out with you and your wife. I'll love her because you love her and I miss being able to ALWAYS be myself around someone. Not to mention all the Philipino food that would be wonderful while Im pregnant. I hope you two are truly happy and you have my blessing for a wonderful life.
Raymi.....I dont know what to say, I keep reaching out to you and it seems as if I keep getting denied. I could be interpreting it wrong but thats how it feels. None the less I hope you are happy in whatever your endeavors and I hope great things for you. I really need a friend right now.
I have struggled so hard and only to have to sit and listen to snide remarks by people that wouldn't dare try to experience what life is like with no resources. The stories of people such as Whoopi Goldburg (started out on welfare) and Angelina Jolie (being a single parent with maddox) and even someone I think is very couragous at her age Jamie Lynn Spears (for deciding to have her baby at such a young age)-Im 34 and having a baby at my age is scary, so I have tons of respect for her. I will say that money does help, I should know, I dont have any of it. So right now I am thinking primarily about Whoopi because she had no money, but Jamie is helping this girl be courageous. There are also stories about people that have gone millions of dollars in debt and then rebuilt themselves back to a positive net worth. And since Im not millions of dollars in debt I figure I have a chance, as long as I can get the"freespirited police" out of my life. I am referring to the people that make it a crime to smile.
I have to say that I am mentally sound except for the instances that are brought about by trauma and repeated exposure to the equivalent of what "Nazi mentality" does to my speach patterns. I also have aspergers, regardless of whether or not you want to "acknowledge" it, it wont just go away.
Im hungry and am leaving to go feed us right now. Ta Ta for now.
I am a person not a puppet. If I dont move fast enough for you maybe its because I was under the impression that I might be allowed to be myself for a couple of hours without being bullied into something else.

To clear something up...I have not had any alcohol lately while I am pregnant nor have I had and why do you think that you are taking over my blogsite now? I am not "owned" by you, that sounds like the slave trade. If you would like to consider myself an equal that would be appreciated. Also, to the people that just sentenced this girl to hell, when they have never even begun to imagine the hell I have been through, really blow my mind. What have I ever done to you? Maybe I dont even understand something that you are referring to. I have aspergers syndrome and maybe you should go to hell for continuing to ignore that and holding this girl responsible for things that she doesn't understand. I keep telling you and you keep ignoring that, I think that is grounds for your trip to hell since you believe so strongly in that. I prefer to think of something slightly on the positive side. This is exactly the kind of thing that I am attempting to get out of my life. The negetivity for no reason. You think you know this girl or what my intentions are but you never have a conversation with this girl. Lame
Love u Obama, I think you are doing a wonderful job.

By the way, of course I care but there is a line between caring and being a marder. I no longer wish to be a marder. I dont think I am selfish for wanting to get off the street and raise my child. I dont appreciate being put down for having no energy left after 5 1/2 years on the street. I am litterally worn out, rightfully. The other girl didn't even spend a quarter of the time that I have on the street before being introduced to her plush existance. I am tired but I am trying.